Have You Ever Had Sex

If You Became A Comedian In The '80s, You Had To Work The Circuit And Make People Laugh. Canned Laughter Is Cheating.

Well, Sanity, I Suppose, Is Getting People To See The World Your Way.

When I Used To Do The Edinburgh Festival, There Was A Bunch Of Guys Selling Fresh Oysters And I'd Eat Ten Daily - Marvellous.

When I Wake Up On A Monday Morning And I Realise I Don't Have To Go And Work At The Civil Service, I Really Think I've Won.

At One Point In The Mid-eighties I Shared A Promoter With The Smiths. One Night, We Were Sitting Backstage When Morrissey Burst In, Utterly Distraught, Sobbing His Heart Out. Turns Out Someone Had Thrown A Sausage At Him On Stage During 'meat Is Murder.'