In Fact, I Don't Watch

I Was Trying To Organise My Dvds Into A Sort Of Chronological Order, And I Am Afraid That It All Trailed Off After The Sixties.

In 1987, I Was In Edinburgh Doing My First One-man Show. I Took Part In A Kickabout With Some Fellow Comedians And Tripped Over My Trousers And Heard This Cracking Sound In My Leg. A Couple Of Days Later I Went Into A Coma And Was Diagnosed With A Pulmonary Embolism.

If You Stay In A House And You Go To The Bathroom And There Is No Toilet Paper, You Can Always Slide Down The Banisters. Don't Tell Me You Haven't Done It.

I've Never Been Disappointed By Politicians. I've Never Invested That Much In Them In The First Place.

I Have Never Sold My Story, Done Hello! Magazine, Any Of That Stuff. I'm Not Guilty Of Exploiting My Private Life For Cash And Then Saying, 'oh, I Don't Want To Talk About My Private Life.' I've Never Crossed That Line.