An Optimist Is One Who

Competition In Academia Is So Vicious Because The Stakes Are So Small.

A Bureaucrat's Idea Of Cleaning Up His Files Is To Make A Copy Of Every Paper Before He Destroys It.

I Inherited My Ability From Both Parents; My Mother's Ability For Spending Money, And My Father's Ability For Not Earning It.

The Reason Crime Doesn't Pay Is That When It Does, It Is Called A More Respectable Name.

If Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, Try Three.