America Has Only 100 Senators

I've Been Married To My Wife For 60 Years But It Feels Just Like Yesterday, And You Know What A Bloody Awful Day Yesterday Was.

People In Northern Ireland Vote For Their Church, They Don't Vote With Their Heads; It Is Ridiculous.

My Wife Went Into The Butchers And Said: "you've A Sheep's Head In Your Window." The Butcher Said: "that's A Mirror."

A Man Says To The Doctor: "what's The Good News?" "you've Got 24 Hours To Live." He Says: "what's The Bad News?" The Doctor Says: "we Should Have Told You Yesterday."

I Was In A Panto Last Year, Aladdin And The Wonderful Lamp. I Played The Wick. I Got The Sack Because I Was Too Well-oiled Every Night.