A Thing Worth Having Is

Variant: I Was Driven To Drink By A Woman. I Am Forever Grateful, Yet I Never Had The Good Manners To Thank Her.

I've Been Drunk Only Once In My Life. But That Lasted For Twenty-three Years.

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.

If I Ever Found A Church That Didn't Believe In Knocking All The Other Churches, I Might Consider Joining It.

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.