Thou Shalt Not Steal-only From

Bert Williams Was The Funniest Man I Ever Saw And The Saddest Man I Ever Knew.

Once, During Prohibition, I Was Forced To Live For Days On Nothing But Food And Water.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards Yourself.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.