Your Preoccupation Should Be On

And Under The New Guidelines Issued By The Obama Administration, Federal Agents Will Not Pursue Pot-smoking Patients In States That Allow Medical Marijuana. This New Policy Is Called 'don't Ask, Don't -- What Was I Talking About?'

Did You Hear About This 20-year-old Kid Named John Walker From Northern California Who Was Apparently Fighting For The Taliban?... It Didn't Take Long For The Tv Networks To Jump On This Walker Thing. Cbs Has A New Show: 'walker: Taliban Ranger.'

A Survey Says That American Workers Work The First Three Hours Every Day Just To Pay Their Taxes. So That's Why We Can't Get Anything Done In The Morning: We're Government Workers.

If There Isn't A Parking Space Out Front Or I Can't See My Car From The Window, We're Eating Somewhere Else.

In Greece, The Unemployment Rate Has Risen To 22%. The Solution To The Problem Was To Raise Taxes On The Rich, According To The Greek President Barack Obama-opolis.