You'll Never Catch A Nudist

Based On What You Know About Him In History Books, What Do You Think Abraham Lincoln Would Be Doing If He Were Alive Today? 1) Writing His Memoirs Of The Civil War. 2) Advising The President. 3) Desperately Clawing At The Inside Of His Coffin.

Former Governor Of Alaska, Sarah Palin, Is Promoting Her New Book And She's Going To Appear On The Oprah Winfrey Show. Sarah And Oprah. On The One Hand, A Very Powerful Woman Qualified To Be President Of The United States, And On The Other Hand, You Have Sarah ... But If You Think About It, Sarah Palin And Oprah Winfrey Have A Lot In Common. They Both Helped Get Obama Elected.

Mitt Romney Has Asked Todd Akin To Step Down. That's Too Bad. Todd Akin Was The Guy To Lead The Republican Party Into The 16th Century.

The Ayatollah In Iran Says He Believes That He Got The Letter, But He Thinks He Accidentally Threw It Out With His Crate & Barrel Catalog.

I Like That Sarah Palin. She Looks Like The Flight Attendant Who Won't Give You A Second Can Of Pepsi ... She Looks Like The Nurse Who Weighs You And Then Makes You Sit Alone In Your Underwear For 20 Minutes ... She Looks Like A Real Estate Agent Whose Picture You See On The Bus Stop Bench ... She Looks Like The Hygienist Who Makes You Feel Guilty About Not Flossing ... She Looks Like The Relieved Mom In A Tide Commercial.