You Think You're So Cool

For The Record? I Have Never Been Her Baby. In Fact, I Reject The Notion Of Coming Out Of Her Body. I Prefer To Believe I Was Hatched, Or Perhaps Purchased.

I Would Rather Receive A Pap Smear From Captain Hook Than Venture Out On New Year's Eve.

I Believe That I Have Such A Vanilla Life.

As I Examine My Life Through This Book, I Can't Help But Wonder If My Mother Was Right. Maybe I Really Was What I Ate. And Maybe If She'd Let Me Eat A Little More Sugar, I'd Have Come Out Sweeter.

I Don't Care How Happily Married You Are Or How Deeply Enmeshed You Are With Your Children And Family And Career -- Every Woman Needs A Couple Of Chicks Who'll Break Out The Sangria Just Because You Need To Vent.