You See, My Father Was

I Always Had One Ear Offstage, Listening For The Call From The Bookie.

I Have More Talent In My Smallest Fart Than You Have In Your Entire Body.

I Never Worked With Marilyn Monroe, But If She'd Lived, I Think She Would Have Been All Right. She Would Have Been President Of The United States.

I Could Play A Cop, I Could Play A Crook, I Could Play A Lawyer, I Could Play A Dentist, I Could Play An Art Critic-i Could Play The Guy Next Door. I Am The Guy Next Door. I Could Play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As A Matter Of Fact, When I Did The Odd Couple, I Would Do It A Different Way Each Night. On Monday I'd Be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-german-and I Would Mix Them Up. I Did That To Amuse Myself, And It Always Worked.

There's No Such Thing As 'too Late!' That's Why They Invented Death!