You Never Want To Be

I Think Being Successful In Comedy Is Being Funny And Making Jokes - Anything Beyond That Is The Icing On The Cake.

Throwing Acid Is Wrong... In Some People's Eyes.

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.

When Someone Close To You Dies, Move Seats.

After A Gig I Always Head Back To The Hotel, Remembering Granny's Words Of Wisdom. I Cancel The Late-night Pizza And Watch The Jonathan Ross Show Instead.