You Might Be A Redneck

I Was Talking To Alan Jackson. He Had His Second Greatest Hits Album. He Said, You Don't Ever Get Into This Really Thinking You're Gonna Make It.

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

If Your Wife's Hairdo Has Ever Been Ruined By A Ceiling Fan, You Might Be A Redneck.

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Had A 900-pound Television On Top Of A Tv Tray. My Dad's Theory Was, 'let Him Pull It Over His Head A Few Times, He'll Learn.'

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Anniversary Present Was Getting The Septic Tank Pumped.