The 104+ Ed Helms Quotes

April Is Tax Month. If You Are Having Trouble Filing Your Taxes, Then You Should Hire An Accountant. They'll Give You The Same Advice That They've Given Hundreds Of Corporations - Taxes Are For Douche Bags.

First There Was The New Hampshire Primary, And We Had Nearly A Year Leading Up To It. And Now, Look! Three Primaries In One Weekend! How Many Of These Things Are They Going To Have?

It's Kind Of Hard To Win Most Elections On Anti-family, Immorality, And Satan-worship.

You Take A Vacation To A Place Like Thailand And You're Ready For The Excitement Of Something New And Foreign. But When You're Working 14-hour Days, All You Want Is Something Familiar To Ground You. And There's Just Nothing There.

I'm A Very Jaded And Cynical Person.

Shouldn't Every Week Be Infection Control Week?

Alcohol Causes Conflicts, Firearms Resolve Conflicts.

You Are Literally Too Stupid To Insult.

There Are Currently More Political Parties In Iraq Than Unbombed Buildings To Hold Them.

I'm Kind Of Embarrassed By How Quickly I Adjusted To L.a. I Really Love It. It's So Pleasant.

When You're Playing A Fictional Character Reacting To The Real World, It's Incredibly Difficult And Confusing And Kind Of Messes With Your Values A Bit.

I Happen To Think Singing Is Hilarious, Especially When It Pops Out At The Wrong Time.