You Might Be A Redneck

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

The More Excited The Rooster Gets, The Higher His Voice Goes. He's Got A Little Bit Of A Barney Fife Quality To Him.

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'

You Might Be A Redneck If There Are Four Or More Cars Up On Blocks In The Front Yard.

My Father-in-law Gets Up At 5 O'clock In The Morning And Watches The Discovery Channel. I Don't Know Why There's This Big Rush To Do This.