You’ll Never Be Good If

I Was In The Virgin Islands Once. I Met A Girl. We Ate Lobster, Drank Piña Coladas. At Sunset, We Made Love Like Sea Otters. That Was A Pretty Good Day. Why Couldn't I Get That Day Over And Over And Over?

Whenever I Think Of The High Salaries We Are Paid As Film Actors, I Think It Is For The Travel, The Time Away, And Any Trouble You Get Into Through Being Well Known. It's Not For The Acting, That's For Sure.

The Last Thing I Want Is To Be (in A Film Role) Is Obvious, Direct And Offensive.

I've Retired A Couple Of Times. It's Great, Because You Can Just Say, 'oh, I'm Sorry. I'm Retired.'

[my Brother] Lived In A Dry Gulch Where The World Of Socks And Shoes Became Extremely Fascinating, And He Felt That Everyone Needs A Good Pair Of Socks, And Why Not Limit His Gift Giving To Something That Everybody Needs? He Thought That There Was Something Humorous About It. So He Gives Socks.