You Live By The Cake,

I Was Very Dirty; I Was A Very Dirty Comic. There Was No Way I Would Have Gotten On Tv With The Act I Had When I First Started.

Kids, Man, They're Way Too Honest. They're Like Mini-alcoholics.

I Try Not To Get Political, I Don't Want To Get Religious, I Don't Want To Get Controversial, I Just Want To Have A Show That Relates To Everybody.

Understand That You Don't Know It All. You Don't Know Anything Yet. What You've Been Taught Is Great, But Always Go With Common Sense. And Don't Marry Your First Love.

If I Wouldn't Have Done Comedy, I Would Have Been A Teacher. I Was Really Good When I Took An Exploratory Teaching Class In High School, At Getting Kids' Attention, And Delivering Lesson Plans. Though My Principal Even Told Me That This Was What I Was Meant To Do. And That Being A Big-mouth Comedian Was A Waste Of Time.