You Know You're Rich When

Every Comedian Has A Moment In His Life When He Realizes He's A Little Bit Different From Everyone Else. It's Like Being The Only Guy In A Movie Who Sees The Ghost. The Ghost Talks To You And You Talk To Him. Then You Turn To Your Friend And Say, "hey. Do You See That Ghost? And He Says, What Ghost?"

You Don't Pay Taxes - They Take Taxes.

You Won’t Be Able To Take Your Eyes Off The Next Four Presenters: Salma Hayek And Penelope Cruz.

Comedians Are The One Who Have To Tell The Emperor He Has No Clothes On.

Gas Is Getting So Expensive I'm Gonna Ride A Mexican To Work.