You Know You're Getting Fat

I Am Thankful I Was Born In America, Although If I Gain Any More Weight The Burqa Thing May Start To Seem Like A Good Idea To Me. See? Another Plus About America, You Can Always Find Some Food.

I Don't Categorize Myself. I Don't Think I'm Perceived As A Female Act By My Audience. My Fans Include Just As Many Men As Women.

Every Time We Help An Animal, We Are Healing Ourselves, Over And Over.

I Have Always Put My Own Money Into Tails Of Joy. For Years, Every Time A Dog Walked By, My Husband Would Say, 'there Goes Our Beach House.'

My Ancestors Wandered Lost In The Wilderness For Forty Years Because Even In Biblical Times, Men Would Not Stop To Ask For Directions.