You Know When You First

Oh, Hi. I Been Married Thirteen Years, And Lemme Tell You, It's A Thrill To Be Out Of The House. I Never Get Out Of The House. I Stay Home All The Time. I Never Do Anything Fun 'cause I'm A Housewife. I Hate The Word "housewife." I Prefer To Be Called "domestic Goddess.

I Used To Think That Communing With Nature Was A Healing, Positive Thing. Now, I Think I'd Like To Commune With Other Things - Like Room Service And Temperature Control.

My Real Life Is Funnier Than Anything On Tv.

I Used To Want To Be A Movie Star So I Wouldn't Have To Live In Trailers Anymore. And Now That I Make Movies, I Spend A Lot Of My Life Living In Trailers.

I Was Raised On Government Cheese. As An Adult, In My First Marriage, My Husband And I Worked Real Hard Just To Go Bankrupt. I Happened To Write Some Jokes About It. I Did Real Well For Myself.