Comedy Is The Only Hope

I Signed A Deal With Satan Because I Wanted To Get Famous. Then I Forgot I Had A Deal With Satan And Then I Got Really Famous.

Facts And Data, Rather Than Opinion, Are The Two Cornerstones Of Problem Solving, And Yet They Are Consistently Withheld From The People By American Media. We Must Have Facts And Data In Order To Recognize Where There Is A Problem!

I Got, Like, Diane Keaton's Manager, And She Was Very Connected; She Had Power. And She Was Like, "your Star Is In Tears On This Comedy. Do You Even Notice That At All?"

When I Was Little, That Was One Thing That I Was Told In A Vision: I Was Going To Have My Own Show When I Grew Up. And It's Going To Be Funny.

The One Who Cares The Most Wins. ... That's How I Knew I'd End Up With Everyone Else Waving The White Flags And Not Me. That's How I Knew I'd Be The Last Person Standing When It Was All Over. ... I Cared The Most.