You Know What They Say:

I Don't Do Emoticons Unless I'm Making A Big Deal Out Of Them. I'll Type Out, 'this Is So Amusing It Makes Me Want To Grin In Pixels.' And Then Do It.

I Felt Like I Wasn't Doing Justice To Either Side Of My Life. It Wasn't Pronounced. Publicity Is An Awkward Thing To Do. It Is Awkward To Call People Up All The Time And Ask Them For Things On A Very Basic Level.

They Say It's Not The Snoring Itself But Those Anxiety-packed Moments In Between Snorts. It's The Waiting For The Nasal Passages Of The Person Lying Beside You To Strike Again. And Strike It Always Does. In The Dark, Almost Against Your Will, You Produce That Special Glare Reserved For People Who Cannot Control Their Own Behaviour.

It Seemed More And More Like Something Out Of A Children's Book - The Butterfly That Followed The Little Girl All The Way Home To Her Fifth-floor Walk-up. How Above-the-law Children's Books Are. Hansel And Gretel (littering, Breaking And Entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced Labor), Snow White (conspiracy To Commit Murder), Rapunzel (breach Of Contract).

You Feel Like Telling Him You're Not Single In The Way That He Thinks You're Single. After All, You Have Yourself.