You Know What, I Distinctly

If The Scottish Want To Break Away, I Shall Stand On Hadrian's Wall With A Teary Handkerchief, And Say: 'good Riddance To The Lot Of You, And Take Your Stupid Bagpipes With You.'

I Wore A Groove In The Kitchen Floor With Endless Trips To The Fridge, Hoping Against Hope That I Had Somehow Missed A Plateful Of Cold Sausages On The Previous 4,000 Excursions. Then, For No Obvious Reason, I Decided To Buy A Footstool.

Supercars Are Supposed To Run Over Arthur Scargill And Then Run Over Him Again For Good Measure. They Are Designed To Melt Ice Caps, Kill The Poor, Poison The Water Table, Destroy The Ozone Layer, Decimate Indigenous Wildlife, Recapture The Falkland Islands And Turn The Entire Third World Into A Huge Uninhabitable Desert, All That Before They Nicked All The Oil In The World.

We Don't Know How Many People Are Watching The Grand Tour's - It's A Closely Guarded Secret, We Don't Even Know - The Only Thing We Can Do Is Make A Program That We Enjoy. And Then Hope That We're Not So Unusual That Other People Won't Share Our Taste.

Some Say He Never Blinks, And That He Roams Around The Woods At Night Foraging For Wolves. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.