You Have To Be Able

She, Uh, Came Out Of The Closet Recently, My Niece. Um... She Announced To The Family That She's A Lesbian And... She's Seven, Did I Mention That? And, Uh, I Don't Even Know If She Knows What A Lesbian Is, But I Support Her Completely. And, Uh... I'll Tell You What's Heartbreaking. My Sister Punished Her For It. Can You Believe That? No Pussy For A Week. Which To Us May Not Sound Like... But When You're Seven, You Know, A Week Is A Long Time.

I Just Look Like A Transvestite When I Try To Dress Up. There's No Place To Hide My Balls.

I Think I've Been Called Edgy - But In All Honestly, There Is A Safety In What I Do Because I'm Always The Idiot.

Sometimes A Joke That Doesn't Work Just Needs A Breath Or A Little Word Or The Tiniest Little Change To Be Fixed.

I Started Out In Clubs, And I've Always Liked Clubs. I Like Theaters Because People Are There For The Show.