You Got A Gun, You

You'd Got A Baseball Game, Or A Football Game, Basketball Game, "usa! Usa! Usa!" Hey, Calm Down! Got A Little German On It, Don't You Think?

Early In My Career It Was Very Important That I Gain The Reputation. I Haven't Been On The Road In Two Or Three Years, But When I Say Tickets Are On Sale, I Know They're Going To Be Gone, Even If My Movie Bombed Or My Tv Show Sucked.

A Black Man Will Be Elected President Of The United States. I'm Sorry, That's In The Year 10,000.

If You Properly Clean A Room, It Gets Dirtier Before It Gets Cleaner.

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.