You Don't Win By Making

I Thought I Did Until I Looked At Some Old Game Films. (when Asked If He Played College Football)

I Know Why We Lost The Civil War. We Must Have Had The Same Officials.

Hear About The Californian Terrorist That Tried To Blow Up A Bus? Burned His Lips On The Exhaust Pipe. He Can Take His'n And Beat Your'n, Then He Can Take Your'n And Beat His'n.

Two Kinds Of Ballplayers Aren't Worth A Darn: One That Never Does What He's Told, And One Who Does Nothin' Except What He's Told.

When It's First And A Mile, I Won't Give It To Him.