You Don't Have To Be

I Finally Understood That By Being On A Perpetual Diet, I Had Practiced A "disordered" Form Of Eating My Whole Life. I Restricted When I Was Hungry And In Need Of Nutrition And Binged When I Was So Grotesquely Full I Couldn't Be Comfortable In Any Position By Lying Down. Diets That Tell People What To Eat Or When To Eat Are The Practices Inbetween. And Dieting, I Discovered, Was Another Form Of Disordered Eating, Just As Anorexia And Bulimia Similarly Disrupt The Natural Order Of Eating.

Being Sick Allows You To Check Out Of Life. Getting Well Again Means You Have To Check Back In. It Is Absolutely Crucial That You Feel Ready To Check Back Into Life Because You Feel As Though Something Has Changed From The Time Before You Were Sick. Whatever It Was That Made You Feel Insecure, Less Than, Or Pressured To Live In A Way That Was Uncomfortable To You Has To Change Before You Want To Go Back There And Start Over.

When You Have The Paparazzi Hiding In The Bushes Outside Your Home, The Only Thing You Can Control Is How You Respond Publicly.

I Never, Ever, Restrict Food, And I Will Never Go On A Diet Ever Again.

My Feelings For Ellen Overrode All Of My Fear About Being Out As A Lesbian. I Had To Be With Her, And I Just Figured I'd Deal With The Other Stuff Later.