You Don't Want Another Enron?

I'm Not A Great Joke Writer, Which Is Odd For A Comic To Say, But I'm Not. So It's Hard For Me To Come Up With Things, Because I Don't Write Stuff, I Don't Write My Act Down.

When I Was A Kid, You Ate, And You Drank, And You Passed Out And Nobody Woke You Up And Said, 'let's Go Shopping.

Mother Teresa Had A Mustache. Hitler Had A Mustache. Mother Teresa Is Hitler.

There Is Absolutely Nothing You Can Learn Out Of One Bllodeshot Eye.

Stupid Presidents, Smart Presidents, White Presidents, Black Presidents - Doesn't Work! What This Country Needs Is A Crazy Third World Dictator. And Donald Trump Has What It Takes To Be That. He's Already Got A Plane With His Name On It, Solid Gold Buildings, A Harem...