You Can't Just Yell Jokes

I'm A Professional Comic. Whether You Think I'm Funny Or Not, That's, Again, Subjective.

I Recently Attended A Pro-drug Rally... In My Basement.

I Still Think That, Hopefully, You're Not Ahead Of The Jokes, And I Think That Has Value. There Is A Punchline And It's Pointed - And, Again, Whether You Think It's Funny Or Not, That's Subjective.

I Would Say Just Stop Watching Me, I Guess, At This Point. That Is What I Do, And It Probably Is, In Some Way, A Bit Of A Lecture. I Can See How That's Not Something That Would Be Enticing For You To Watch In A Stand-up Hour.

I Think Pornography Is The Only Art Form Where You Can Be Videotaped On A Shaky Handy Cam Sucking Off A Horse And Be Considered A Star.