I Recently Attended A Pro-drug

It's Not That I Don't Have Kids For Some Personal Reason Outside Of, I Just Haven't Had Kids. And I Haven't Met Someone Who Wanted To, As Far As I Know. And Perhaps I'm Attracted To Women Who Aren't Ready To Make That Commitment Just Yet.

I Have Always Tried To Use Humor To "help Ever" And "hurt Never," For I Find That To Laugh Is Like Swallowing A Secret That Santa Claus Farted.

Hopefully People Are Upset For The Reason I Want Them To Be Upset. Even When I Was Doing Open Mics, I've Always Had People Upset. I've Never Been The Consummate Crowd-pleaser.

[on The Dating Handbook] 'with A Telescope, Some Munchies, And A Warm Blanket, Watch For Halley's Comet.' Yeah. I Like That. There's No Time Limit. Just Sit There And Grow Old Together.

Hopefully People Will Be Reinventing Comedy Forever And Ever. This Is Just What I Do, And It's A Type Of Comedy.