You Can't Fake Comedy -

You Don’t Need No Gun Control, You Know What You Need? We Need Some Bullet Control. Men, We Need To Control The Bullets, That’s Right. I Think All Bullets Should Cost Five Thousand Dollars… Five Thousand Dollars Per Bullet… You Know Why? Cause If A Bullet Cost Five Thousand Dollars There Would Be No More Innocent Bystanders.

I Get Approached To Do Shows All The Time. There's A Lot Of Money In Sitcoms, But I've Never Been The Kind Of Guy Who Wanted To Do One. I Don't Think People Want To See Me Saying "honey, I'm Home." It's Just Not My Thing.

If You Told Me Two Years I Would Miss The Greatest Basketball Game Ever To Hang Out With Nathan Lane, I'd Say, 'you're Crazy!'

A Lot Of Racism Going On In The World Right Now. Who's More Racist? Black People Or White People? Black People. You Know Why? 'cuz We Hate Black People Too! Everything White People Don't Like About Black People, Black People Really Don't Like About Black People.

I've Remade A Few Movies And They All Have One Thing In Common: Great Endings. If You're Going To Remake Something, Make Sure That Ending Is Tight. It's A Little Less Challenging, If You Have A Great Ending. If You Don't Have A Great Ending, Don't Remake The Movie.