You Can't Claim You're For

I Don't Want To Start A Movement That Mirrors Religion. I Don't Want To Create The Church Of The Non-believers Where I'm The Preacher And We're All Gathering Together And Reciting Things.

When I Hear From People That Religion Doesn't Hurt Anything, I Say Really? Well Besides Wars, The Crusades, The Inquisitions, 9-11, Ethnic Cleansing, The Suppression Of Women, The Suppression Of Homosexuals, Fatwas, Honor Killings, Suicide Bombings, Arranged Marriages To Minors, Human Sacrifice, Burning Witches, And Systematic Sex With Children, I Have A Few Little Quibbles. And I Forgot Blowing Up Girl Schools In Afghanistan.

Even When [federal Reserve Chairman Ben] Bernanke Said The Recession Was Over ... You Think That Would Have Been A Bigger Boom Somewhere, But It Seems We Just Take Everything In Stride.

To Give You An Idea How Slowly We Are Leaving Afghanistan, Afghans Don't Refer To Us Anymore As 'infidel Crusaders.' They Refer To Us As 'irish Relatives.'

Funny That All Of Nixon's Crimes - Anonymous Campaign Cash, Wiretapping, Undeclared Wars - Are All Legal Now. Discuss.