Space Tourism Is God's Way

The Senate Decided They Will Be Smoke-free. They Ordained That All Public Areas In The Senate Are Now Smoke-free. However, The Senators Themselves Will Still Be Allowed To Blow Smoke Up Each Other's Asses.

Halloween Is A Day When We All Get To Fool People Into Thinking We're Someone Else. Or As Mitt Romney Calls It, Campaigning.

Recently, There's Been A Trend In America That I Find Very Disturbing... Rewarding Immoral And Illegal Behavior...for Example, We Now Give Free Needles To Junkies, Which Seems To Me To Be Only A Step Away From Giving Condoms To Rapists.

People Say To Me All The Time, "i Get My News From Your Show." And That Isn't The Way They Should Get Their News. But The Choice Is Not Between Getting Their News The Right Way And Getting Their News From My Show. The Choice Is That They Won't Get Any At All Unless You Give It To Them In An Entertaining Package.

I Believe In God, I Just Give Him More Credit Than Being A Single Parent And An Author.