You Can Always Tell When

The Republican Party Is Like The Corpse In 'weekend At Bernies' And The Tea Party Is Like The Two Guys Who Put Sunglasses And A Party Hat On It And Drag It Around.

There Are Two Things That You Have To Lie To Get Through. One Is Politics, And The Other Is Marriage.

Ask Your Doctor If Getting Off Your Ass Is Right For You

Last Week, I Suggested The Candidates Take Up Mushrooms. I'll Be Damned If Rick Perry Didn't Take Me Up On That.

When It Comes To Religion, We're Not Two Sides Of The Same Coin, And You Don't Get To Put Your Unreason Up On The Same Shelf With My Reason. Your Stuff Has To Go Over There, On The Shelf With Zeus And Thor And The Kraken, With The Stuff That Is Not Evidence-based, Stuff That Religious People Never Change Their Mind About, No Matter What Happens.