Halloween Is A Day When

The Republican Party Is Like The Corpse In 'weekend At Bernies' And The Tea Party Is Like The Two Guys Who Put Sunglasses And A Party Hat On It And Drag It Around.

I Didn't Really Think A Lot About Religion, But I Didn't Really Think A Lot Against It, Either. I Was One Of Those People Who Didn't Go To Church, But When I Got In Trouble I Kinda Pleaded With God - Whoever That Was.

A New Biography Of Madonna Came Out Last Week, And Apparently The Biography Lists All The Men She's Slept With. The Book Is Apparently Called The Manhattan Telephone Directory.

Space Tourism Is God's Way Of Telling You You Aren't Spending Enough On Lap Dances, Baccarat And Cocaine.

Did You See Britney Spears At The Video Music Awards? I Don't Want To Say That That Performance Was A Disaster, But After The Show, I Saw Rudy Giuliani Having His Picture Taken Standing On Her.