Yeah, It's Unfair That You

For Me, Anything Goes When I Pick Up A Mike. I'm Not Trying To Hurt People - I Try Not To Get Too Personal - But I Look At Myself As A Reporter. If You Can Report On Anything That Has To Do With Pop Culture, Then Why Can't I Make Jokes About It? Yes, It Hurts. But I Figure That Laughter Sometimes Starts From Pain. You Might Wince, But Then I Know That I'm Doing My Job. The Only Thing I Can Do Wrong Is Not Be Funny.

An Entertainer's Reputation As A Live Act Is The Most Valuable Thing He Or She Can Have. If People Know You Give Good Shows, You'll Never Be Broke For The Rest Of Your Life.

Men Lie The Most. Men Lie All The Time.

Unlike Flying Or Astral Projection, Walking Through Walls Is An Earthbound Pursuit.

I Hate When People Go On Tv And Tell You How Hard It Is To Do Animation. No, No, No. Ups Is Hard Work. I’ve Done Some Animation And Here's How Easy It Is. The Easiest Job In The World. I Go In A Booth And I Go, What’s The Line? And The Guy Goes, It’s Time To Go To The Store. And Then I Go, It’s Time To Go To The Store. And Then They Gave Me $1 Million.