Yeah, I Love Being Famous.

Black People Have Been Qualified To Be President For Hundreds Of Years. George Washington Carver Could Have Been President. I Could Go On With A List Of Black Men That Were Qualified To Be The President Of The United States. So The Obama Victory Is Progress For White People.

They're Working Their Way Down. Next Year, Todd Bridges Gets The Award. When I Was A Kid I Wanted To Be Eddie Murphy And Now I'm A Rip-off Of Eddie Murphy.

Emotional Affairs, Those Are The Only Real Affairs; Those Are The Real Ones.

The Material Comes From Whenever You Realize That You And Someone Else Have Something In Common. So Any Conversation You've Had More Than Once, Anything You See Happening To You That You See Happening To A Friend, You Go, Hmmm, That's A Situation I Can Make Funny.

Who's Judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul Judging A Singing Contest Is Like Christopher Reeve Judging A Dance Contest!