With All The Classes They

You Gotta Live Life Before You Can Talk About It. Sometimes When Things Don't Work Out In Life, They Work Out On Stage.

Drama Is Not My Passion. If I Do It, It's For A Check. It's Not What I Want To Do. Comedy's My Thing. Stand Up's My Thing. Everything That Comes From That Is Frosting On The Cake.

I Go On The Road All The Time, But I'm Only Performing For Two Hours A Night, And Then I'll Do A Meet-and-greet, And Then I'll Get A Bite To Eat, Get Drunk, Pass Out, Wake Up The Next Day, Sleeping The Next Day, Sleeping Off The Hangover, And Then I'm In The Next City.

If I Wouldn't Have Done Comedy, I Would Have Been A Teacher. I Was Really Good When I Took An Exploratory Teaching Class In High School, At Getting Kids' Attention, And Delivering Lesson Plans. Though My Principal Even Told Me That This Was What I Was Meant To Do. And That Being A Big-mouth Comedian Was A Waste Of Time.

Comedians Do Movies And Tv So That When They Tour, They Sell Out. That's The Goal: To Get Popular Enough So The Place Is Packed.