Who’s Going To Keep Them

In A Few Hours, I’m Going To Be Banished To The Surface, My Belongings Raffled Off As Novelty Items And My Living Space Given To Someone Else—my Reputation Destroyed. I’d Rather Have Your Head Than Your Soul At This Point In My Illustrious Career.” - Al

Uh... ," Ivy Stammered, And I Glanced Up To See Her Eyes Wide In Consideration. "i'm Kidding," I Said. "it Passed The Lethal-amulet Test, Remember?" "not That. You Keep It In Your Underwear Drawer?" I Hesitated, Wondering Why I Was Embarrassed. "well, Where Do You Put Your Elven Magic?" I Asked.

Coffee. I Could Smell Coffee. Coffee Would Make Everything Better.

Rachel?” Came Ivy’s Voice From Her Room. “where’s My Sword?” “in The Foyer Where You Left It Last Week When The Evangelists Were Canvassing The Neighborhood

A Witch, A Vampire, And A Pixy Walk Into A Bar, I Thought As I Led The Way Into The Squirrel’s End. It Was Early, And The Sun Had Yet To Set When The Door Swung Shut Behind Jenks, Sealing Us In The Warm Air Smelling Faintly Of Smoke. Immediately Nick Yanked It Open To Come In Behind Us. And There’s The Punch Line.