Where Lipstick Is Concerned, The

The Whole Object Of Comedy Is To Be Yourself And The Closer You Get To That, The Funnier You Will Be.

I Wonder If Illiterate People Get The Full Effect Of Alphabet Soup?

The First Real Thought That I Had Of Something That I Might Do Was To Write For Car Magazines, Because I Always Had A Car Thing.

You Know I Have Been Issued A Public Urination Pass By The City Because Of My Condition. Unfortunately, My Little Brother Ran Out Of The House With It This Morning. Him And His Friends Are Probably Peeing All Over The City.

Cremation Has Become The Most Popular Form Of Burial In The United States... People Used To Want A Big, Thick Granite Stone, Their Names Carved Into With A Chisel. I Was Here Dammit! Cremation Is Like You're Trying To Cover Up A Crime. Burn The Body. Scatter The Ashes Around. As Far As Anyone's Concerned This Whole Thing Never Happened.