Whenever I Wear Something Expensive

Politically Correct Is The Language Of Cowardice.

I Don't Like The Beach. I Think We Have No Business At The Beach At All, As A Species. We Don't Belong In The Sea. The Sea Is Full Of Things That Bite Us, Sting Us, Hurt The Soles Of Our Feet, And It's Extremely Cold. When Are We Gonna Take The Hint That The Things That Live In The Sea Don't Like Us?

I've Never Done A Comedy Club In My Life. It's Weird Because I Don't Have The Same Background As Most Comics. I Don't Have A History Of Going Up And Only Doing Eight Minutes.

I Used To Be A Folk Singer, But I Was... Dreadful. I Had A Voice Like A Goose Farting In The Fog.

Nothing Means Anything Here. When They Pull Down An Outstanding Building, No One Objects. Oh, Maybe There's A Wee Protest From Some Collectors Or Something Who Take A Picture Of It Before It Vanishes.