When You're Attracted To Someone,

There Is Something Called The Rapture Of The Deep, And It Refers To What Happens When A Deep-sea Diver Spends Too Much Time At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Can't Tell Which Way Is Up. When He Surfaces, He's Liable To Have A Condition Called The Bends, Where The Body Can't Adapt To The Oxygen Levels In The Atmosphere. All Of This Happens To Me When I Surface From A Great Book.

Vera Said: 'why Do You Feel You Have To Turn Everything Into A Story?' So I Told Her Why: Because If I Tell The Story, I Control The Version. Because If I Tell The Story, I Can Make You Laugh, And I Would Rather Have You Laugh At Me Than Feel Sorry For Me. Because If I Tell The Story, It Doesn't Hurt As Much. Because If I Tell The Story, I Can Get On With It.

Maintenance Is What You Have To Do Just So You Can Walk Out The Door Knowing That If You Go To The Market And Bump Into A Guy Who Once Rejected You, You Won't Have To Hide Behind A Stack Of Canned Food. I Don't Mean To Be Too Literal About This.

When You Have A Baby, You Set Off An Explosion In Your Marriage, And When The Dust Settles, Your Marriage Is Different From What It Was. Not Better, Necessarily; Not Worse, Necessarily; But Different.

Some People Pretend To Like Capers, But The Truth Is That Any Dish That Tastes Good With Capers In It Tastes Even Better With Capers Not In It.