When You Have A Baby,

Oh Here's An Idea: Let's Make Pictures Of Our Internal Organs And Give Them To Other People We Love On Valentine's Day. That's Not Weird At All.

Even The White House Is Weighing In On The Deflate-gate Scandal. Yesterday They Encouraged Tom Brady To 'be Mindful Of The Way He Serves As A Role Model.' And Then President Obama Stuffed Out His Cigarette And Went Golfing At Noon On A Weekday.

I Don't Shoot Guns. I Don't Know How To Do That. I Grew Upstate New York, So I Fought With My Fists.

Hillary Clinton Has A $350 Billion Plan That She Says Will Make College More Affordable. Which Has To Be Better Than My Parents' Plan To Make College Affordable: 'be Good At Sports.'

The Tsa's Airport Body Scanners Have Been Shown To Be So Ineffective, The Homeland Security Chairman Suggested Using Traditional Metal Detectors. While Laguardia Will Continue To Just Have A Scarecrow Dressed As A Cop.