[when To Have A Facelift:]

They Always Say To Californians That We Don't Have Seasons. Of Course, That Is Not True. We Have Fire, Flood, Mud And Drought.

When I Was A Kid And We Used To Play Post Office, I Was The Dead Letter Office.

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.

Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean To Check The Weather. Once When I Didn't Do This I Sent The Kids Off With Umbrellas For Six Weeks Straight.

You Know You're Old When Your Walker Has An Airbag.