When They Asked Jack Benny

Laughter Is Therapy-an Instant Vacation.

I Was Lucky I Wasn't A Better Boxer, Or That's What I'd Be Now - A Punchy Ex-pug.

Please Don't Stand Up On My Account.

I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing And Said, 'what Do I Do Next?' Pat Replied, 'wait Till The Pain Dies Down.'

It's Amazing How Many People You See On Tv. I Did My First Television Show A Month Ago, And The Next Day Five Million Television Sets Were Sold. The People Who Couldn't Sell Theirs Threw Them Away.