When People Tell You How

If You Want To Be An Actor, My Advice Is To Learn Your Lines And Don't Bump Into The Other Actors.

It Is The Law Of Life That If You Are Kind To Someone You Feel Happy. If You Arecruel You Are Unhappy. And If You Hurt Someone, You Will Be Hurt Back.

To Succeed With The Opposite Sex, Tell Her You're Impotent. She Can't Wait To Disprove It.

I'd Like To Have Made One Of Those Big Splashy Technicolor Musicals With Rita Hayworth.

...and There I Suddenly Found My Articulate Self In A Dazzling Land Of Smiling, Jostling People Wearing And Not Wearing All Sorts Of Costumes And Doing All Sorts Of Clever Things. And That's When I Knew! What Other Life Could There Be But That Of An Actor?