When People Say England, They

Travel' Is The Name Of A Modern Disease Which Became Rampant In Themid-fifties And Is Still Spreading. The Disease - Its Scientific Name Is Travelitis Furiosus - Is Carried By A Germ Called Prosperity.

It Is Great Fun Dying In The United States Of America. It Is Great Fun First Of All For The Undertakers Who Make A Wonderful Living Out Of It But Also For The Deceased Who Suddenly Becomes The Centre Of Attention And Fuss.

When People Say England, They Sometimes Mean Great Britain, Sometimes The United Kingdom, Sometimes The British Isles, - But Never England.

On The Continent There Is One Topic Which Should Be Avoided-the Weather; In England, If You Do Not Repeat The Phrase "lovely Day, Isn't It?" At Least Two Hundred Times A Day, You Are Considered A Bit Dull.

A Great Deal Of The Pupils Time Was Spent Going Through, Once Again, The History Of The Communist (bolshevik) Party Of The Soviet Union. He Had Learnt It At Elementary School; At Secondary School; At His Sports Club; At The Komsomol; At The University; At A Folk Dancing Course; At The Chess-club.