When Most People Return From

I'm Still Suffering From Shock From The Last War. I Was Almost Drafted! Luckily I Was Wounded While Taking The Physical. When I Reached The Psychiatrist, I Said, Give Me A Gun, I'll Wipe Out The Whole German Army In Five Minutes. He Said, You're Crazy! I Said, Write It Down!

Comparing What The Democrats Offer To What The Republicans Offer Is Like Comparing The Money I Have In My Pocket To What Bill Gates Has In His.

Hillary Clinton's Life Has Been Filled With Corruption But Nobody Cares.

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.

You Know How Many Stunning Women Told Me They Can't Stand A Good-looking Man? ... Women Feel Secure With An Ugly Guy Because A Man In Bad Shape Isn't Gonna Cheat.