When I Thought I Was

I Always Thought I Was Going To Die Before I Was 60.

In Any Other Job, They're Truck Drivers. In Show-biz, They're Transportation Captains.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'

I Looked At Game Show Hosting As The Bottom Of The Totem Pole, One Step Away From Infomercials. I Never Watched Them Myself. However, It's Been A Lot Of Fun.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.