When I Graduated From High

Dad Was In The British Army And My Mom Was In The Royal Air Force, So Both Of My Parents Believed In Discipline.

Anyone Who Tells You Fatherhood Is The Greatest Thing That Can Happen To You, They Are Understating It.

Comedy And Sausages Are The Two Things That If You Know How They're Made They Affect The Appetite.

Most Comedians Want To Be The Architect Of Their Own Embarrassment. They Have Horrible Self-esteem Issues. I Would Rather Push Myself Into The Mud. I Don't Want To Be Pushed Into The Mud. I Think That Is Probably True. I Think Most People Struggle With Self-acceptance. But Comedians Get A Chance To Self Externalize.

Why Must I Be Surrounded By Frickin' Idiots?