When I Am At Rodeo

My Credit Card Company Says I Have An Outstanding Balance. I'm Flattered.

It's Very Easy To Go Through Your Whole Life And Never Really Get Anything Done Or Have Any Real Meaningful Interactions Or Relationships. All Of A Sudden You're Dead, And I'm Going To Say That's Got To Be A Letdown.

To Me, Comedy Is A Game.

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Making A Connection With A Stranger, But Then It Turns Out I'm Not. Like, I Was In A Mall, And I Saw This Lady Hitting Her Kid. So I Went Up To Her, And I Was Like, "yeah, Get Him!" She Got All Mad At Me. I Was Like, "i'm On Your Side Here."

The Reason You Often Get In Comedy Is Because You're Not Getting Laid.